I'm sorry for the long silence, I've not been myself recently (either that or I've been too much myself).

The Yule ritual we had planned went well despite most people being unable to get to us because of the snow; for a change, nobody managed to set themselves on fire. Unfortunately, again because of the snow, most people had to leave early and I saw in the sunrise by myself.

I've been having problems with people asking me for help recently. Not a problem in itself except that there are so many of them and if I need support in return they see that as unreasonable. I'm planning to put together a little charm later on today to help me say no once in a while and get support when I need it. Fingers crossed it goes well.

After a bit of hesitation, I've started writing seriously again as well. Since I did, I've had considerably more positive responses than negative and I've even felt comfortable starting to write a novel (one I've had ready to start for quite some time now). You're very welcome to visit my other blog, Bewildering Circumstances to see what I've been doing.

Well I've managed to get the majority of my house decorated although I'm still not feeling especially festive. I'm hoping it'll kick in later on once I've done some successful baking and finished things off. Even so, I thought I'd share a few festive house photos with you.

I have to admit I'm struggling to feel festive; everything seems so difficult recently and everyone seems so moody and grumpy. As a result, I'm feeling pretty down myself. I'm sure I'll be okay by tomorrow after I've had a good sleep and I'll post a more complete entry then.

Oh dear, what a lot of snow and ice... I'm not good on ice (think an inelegant Bambi tangled up in a scarf) so I've been trying to avoid going out. I'm thinking of putting together some kind of non-slip ritual later on if I have time (the ritual equivalent of gritting maybe?). I received my first Yule card yesterday and now I've gone from feeling very smug and organised to being in a bit of a crazy panic. I'll be getting some of the ones I've made into envelopes today and tomorrow in theory and then working out how many more I need to do. Someone remind me next year that making cards is a bad plan. I should send something I'm good at making instead. Like biscuits. Not sure how well my festive biscuits would survive in the post though.

There seems to be a rather large tree in my hallway. No, it isn't a Yule one (I'm not that organised!), its a fallen down silver birch. It seemed like a great find at the time but I'm slowly coming to realise I didn't think this through. I mean, I can't even remember where my saw is... And its about ten foot long... In the hallway... Never mind, when I have chance I bet I can get a decent staff and a few bits and bobs out of it. Maybe a rune set if I'm lucky.

Today, I'm trying desperately to make Yule cards for my friends and family. Again, this seemed like a good idea at the time but now, with piles of coloured paper across the floor and glitter under my eyelids, I'm starting to regret it.

I seem to have swapped cats with the neighbours. Someone else's cat has been letting itself into our house and making itself at home whilst one of ours has taken up residence next door. Of course the one we've lent out is a lovely, fluffy ball of cuddles whilst the new one is manky and fat with a squint. I've just managed to put some flea treatment on it (I'm not taking any risks if its coming indoors) by throwing food at it and diving on it's back. Judging by the matts on it's tummy, I may also have to shave it. Fun stuff...

I've ended up with a pet rabbit living in my kitchen. No he isn't a familiar or anything, just a pet although he's been a bit over-friendly with my trainers :S. He needed a home and I needed a cuddle so it all seemed fairly straightforward.

I've managed to acquire a stash of bottles and jars just in time to make my winter preserves and syrups through the unique 'magic' which is Cardiff freecycle (my wish seems to be it's command recently!). I've got a great crop of rosehips waiting to be collected and I've re-stocked my dried herb supplies with the help of some great friends although thanks to the cat being too clever for it's own good I'm out of catmint again; I suppose I'll have to come up with a new calming tea blend for when I can't sleep...

I'll be popping out to see a friend who hasn't been well this afternoon so I'm planning to make some leek and potato soup for her (leeks for protection, potatoes for health and cream for nurturing). Fingers crossed it works!

Have had a stressful day so I've settled down with a warm blanket nd a cup of jasmine flower and catmint tea (smells delicious...) for the night. Later on I may even have a bubble bath with something soothing and relaxing but elegant added, I haven't decided yet.

I picked up a great new candle holder for my altar, all shiny and pewter, in a charity shop. Just what I was looking for :) I'll probably 'try it out' at the weekend when I'm a bit less twitchy... flames + twitchy = fire brigade...

Cake and Kitchen Knives

The house is finally starting to feel 'right'. Even though there's laundry drying everywhere, it looks much tidier and there's a general smell of decent incence and freshly-baked biscuits instead of dirty men's socks. I even found my lucet so I've been making cord again (its a great thing to be holding in an argument, those two points are suprisingly...pointy).

I even found time to get my kitchen 'altar' in order yesterday. Okay, so mainly its hidden under a collection of flowers, vegetables, jars of spice, cake and kitchen knives but its finally starting to feel the way I want it to. I know its still missing something but I'm not sure what; whatever it is, I'm sure it'll come my way sometime soon.

I made some corn 'dollies' over the weekend. Well, I call them that but to be honest they're more plaits of dried grass with herbs woven into them than any of the traditional dolly types. I was going to make one properly but I couldn't remember how :S. Never mind, if nothing else they smell amazing.

Now I just need to tackle the garden... (Oh dear)

Well so far today I've woken up to find that one of my toads has died and one of my partner's cats has pretty much moved in with our neighbours. Then a clothes dryer attacked me in a vicious suicide mission flinging pants and socks around us in a mad flurry of underwear. I've made myself another coffee and decided to start over...

I'm thinking of making up a herb wash to give the house a good clean (physically and spiritually) today, something to encourage prosperity, harmony and 'positive energy' (I don't like using the phrase positive energy, it always makes me think of aging women in tie dye t-shirts clutching huge piles of shop-bought crystals to their bra-less chests and humming tunelessly; fine if that's your thing but not what I mean). If it manages not to rain for a little bit longer, I may even tidy up the garden a bit and take a wander out to the shops.

Maybe I'll spot the cat while I'm out, fluffy traitor that he is...

My mind has been a bit all over the place this morning; there are so many things I should be doing I don't know where to start. I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a cup of coffee (with a few sprinkles of ginger to try give me a kick up the backside) and work out what needs doing the most. If I get chance later on, I might make a rosemary wreath for the inner front door and see if that helps.

My new little herb garden is starting to sprout nicely and my selection of rescued plants are doing well. The weeping fig has only lost one more leaf and the new ones are growing nice and quickly so I think its happy where it is. I 'made' one of my friends talk to it a few days ago and she started chatting it up; maybe its making a special effort to look pretty for her!

I'm so disappointed! Yesterday, I was supposed to attend a friend's Samhain ritual on the beach but went to the wrong place and by the time we realised it was too late to join them. The house has deteriorated into a mess again and everything is back up in the air, although I've not yet managed to kill off any of my herbs this time so it probably isn't the end of the world.

This week I made two wood and straw poppets, one of someone who has been maliciously causing me endless problems and another to help cure a friend of a long-term case of laryngitis. I know that my friend's laryngitis began to get better the next day and is now all better and I'm just waiting to see if the other was as successful. I have to admit I don't usually use poppets in a negative way but when you've run out of options and patience...

I made the mistake of taking a trip to the garden centre and ending up in the reduced plants section... Now, amongst other things, I've rescued a sorry-looking weeping fig. I'm planning to nurse it back to health and see if it encourages prosperity back into the house. Of course it has dropped lots of its leaves from the shock of the move (fairly common with these and it should be fine) so my partner is going to come home to find I've bought a twig. Never mind, everyone thinks I'm mad already!

I'm feeling especially down today even though I've made a good start on the house and sorted most of my financial issues. I suppose its because I'm feeling a bit taken for granted; not by everyone of course but a few bad apples always seem to sour the barrel. Maybe when I start feeling a bit better about myself in general that will stop happening. Fingers crossed!

Today, I've been braiding leather and using the technique a friend of mine recently taught me to weave wool into baskets. I'm aiming to make something to store all the little nic naks I get attracted to when I'm out and about until I work out what I want to do with them. Its going to have to be pretty big...

I think later on I'll plait all my frustration with everyone into a woollen knot and burn it and see if that helps.

I couldn't believe my luck! I went for a wander around and found myself in a crystal shop. Now, I don't usually go into them, not because I don't like crystals but because I prefer to find my shiny things than buy them. Anyway, I was browsing their fossil display when I noticed something I hadn't seen in ages; there, marked as a 'plant fossil', was a shepherd's crown! Of course I bought it (for a bargain price) and its now in pride of place in my living room.

I've taken a photo of my altar to share with you it its current slightly dilapidated state. I know its much more empty than a lot of people's but most of the things I use tend to have homes around the house anyway. I'm not sure you can see properly but in front of the candles on the left theres currently a piece of petrified wood, a sharks tooth and a poppet carved out of ginger. There are a few more delicate things in the little wooden box too but those vary a fair amount. The basket usually contains a selection of fruit, herbs and nuts; at the minute, that's mainly sage and apples. I'll be restocking that when I buy some new flowers, hopefully later today. Underneath the cloth there are some drawers and shelves to store bigger things on, although currently theres all kinds of stuff under there. I really need to get organised...

The cushions are mainly there so I can take them down to kneel on when I'm working; its too low to stand!

I had to sort out some financial issues today and I was pretty worried about the outcome so I may have gone into overdrive (something which happens a lot when I'm worrying). After a quick tidy up, I decided to bake a honey, nut and cinnamon loaf (honey for sweetness and cinnamon and nuts for prosperity). I love the symbolism of baking bread, the way that you're growing something warm and desirable. When that was finished, I ran myself a hot bath and sprinkled in a handful of basil leaves into the water to represent financial gain. I really enjoy herbal baths so with that and the bread I was all relaxed and ready for bed before I knew it.

This morning before I headed out, I popped a bay leaf into my pocket... and not only did I sort out all my financial issues, I found thirty pounds in small amounts on my way there and back!

Remind me to worry more often...

A Need For Change

Things have been bad for a while. Just a quick look around my house would probably tell you that. There are little piles of socks and unknown fluff on the floor, the houseplants are long-since deceased and there's a leaning tower of dishes where the sink used to be. The garden isn't much better. There are 'weeds' sprouting from practically everywhere, my partner's half-finished projects littered across the path and bits of wood have falled off of the shed to the point where it looks as if I've been playing structural jenga.

I suppose in a way that reflects how I've been recently as a person. Little problems have been cropping up everywhere in little (and not so little) piles until I was almost as buried as the sink. I was starting to think I was going to shrivel up and die under the pressure exactly like my poor plants or find myself tripping up in life like I did on the garden path only to be crushed under the delapidated shed of my problems. Its funny how my immediate surroundings seem to have become a metaphor for me (or maybe I read into it too much).

This couldn't go on.

With the help of some friends, I've made a start on tidying up my house and garden. I'll be replacing the dead houseplants with some shiny new ones and putting out a basket of apples to symbolise my personal healing and welcoming back of better things back into my life. Once I've gotten everything straight, I'll be inviting my lovely friends back round for a visit and indulging in a little bit of a thank-you kitchen witch style.

Here's hoping not all of my posts end up being this long and depressing :D